Business and Finance Christmas Cracker Jokes - Image

Business and Finance Christmas Cracker Jokes

It might be the darkest, gloomiest time of the year outside, but open the door on workplaces up and down the country and there’s mince pies, chocolates and good cheer to be had.

Whatever challenges you’ve endured this year, it’s almost time to take a short break and enjoy the festive spirit.

To help get you into the mood we’ve pulled together a collection of Christmas cracker jokes for your enjoyment. Some old, some corny, and lots on a finance or business theme.


What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses!

What’s the definition of an actuary? Someone who finds accountancy too exciting!

Why did Santa have to fit booster seats and seat belts on his sleigh? Because of elf and safety!

What happened to the entrepreneur who starting out with nothing? He’s still got most of it!

Why are the best accountants at the bottom of the ocean? Because deep down they’re not so bad!

Why did the pound coin leave the 99p shop? Because it wanted to spend a penny!

What time of day do skeletons prefer to work? The graveyard shift!

What did the boss say that inspired a worker to set up his own business? You’re fired!

What’s the difference between an accountant and a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood at night!

What does a tidy desk mean? Messy drawers!

What’s the difference between a bank and an angry rhinoceros? The bank charges more!

What did one pound coin say to the other pound coin? Don’t look, I’m going to change!

Why did the shopkeeper cut all his stock in half? Because he was holding a ‘50% off’ sale!

How do you hire an accountant? Put some bricks under their chair!

What’s a good reason for not putting Christmas lights outside your office? It makes it harder for creditors to find it!

What sort of overtime hours are the best? Lunch hours!

Why did illness force the worker to leave their job? Because the boss was sick and tired of them!

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